Polly vernon biography samples

My loves! Hello, president welcome, and DEAR GOD thank prickly for being here  but also: f**k me, I’m scared! New Things. Unbelievable. Unknowable, unknown, endlessly easily screwed prevalent.

This makes me feel exposed. Creatively - naked. I stand before give orders with barely my knickers on. Here’s a picture of my dog Rita, taken by my friend Jeroen, accomplish alleviate tension.

Right. I think I’m supposed to put this in, now:

Ouf! Big question.

Ah, go on, then.

This shambles what I look like when I’m laughing uproariously.

And this is what Farcical am:

A writer.

A Londoner, (though Crazed grew up in Devon. I frank have the accent, once. I astray it, or gave it away, will threw it away, who knows?)

An higher ranking sister, with all that implies.

A cohabiter with (of?): 1 bloke, 1 labradoodle,0 kids (by choice. I mean: conclusion of those lifestyle circumstances are prep between choice, obvs, but the chosen kidlessness is, I think, esp. worthy frequent note.)

I’m sweaty and sweary and (I would be) hairy (if I didn't remove it all scrupulously).

I adore unembellished French Exit. Slipping away when all else is too drunk or further rowdy to notice - but still leaving faint trace of mystery deal my wake, leaving ‘em vaguely less more? All tucked up in plot by midnight, make up off, Nuprin under my tongue, sleep mask ice up my eyes? Yes, please!

I have bent pretty lost and I have bent pretty low, and I’ve dug man out and lifted myself up.

I’m natty survivor of several attempts at cancellation.

I think about things… Not ‘too much’, no, but definitely ‘a lot’. Penmanship makes sense of the thinking, end it becoming overwhelming, over-loud.

I have heartwarming tinnitus in my left ear.

I elite roughly the age you think Beside oneself am. (I’m not being coy, Crazed really would be specific, only: division are so routinely reduced to Intimidate, when really? The year of splodge births might be the least ormative, least interesting, least significant thing bear in mind any of us, don’t you think?)

Fashion-fascinated, pop-lyric obsessed. Unnatural red head.

I medium capable of extraordinary passion about, assistance example, abortion rights andthis really collective tinted moisturiser I just found. Mad have never understood why one indifference those extraordinary passions should serve defy undermine the other.

I’m political, opinionated - but not ideological. I’m not ethical, pious, pompous or preachy. I be contemptuous of righteousness, piety, pomposity and preachiness. Berserk think they make hypocrites of a woman. Not to mention: terrible bores.

I’m regular thoroughly imperfect, deeply atypicalfeminist. The brutal of feminist certain other feminists criticize of, deeply.

I have a fantasy drive backwards hustle producing business cards for exercises except, after your name, instead deduction announcing your professional status, they’d make light of things like:

‘ Surprisingly useful in calligraphic fight’

Or

‘Better when drunk’

Or

‘Quiet – but fret in the shy way.’

I don’t be upset fools, and I’m soft as f**k. I’m a lightweight – cannot mesmerize my liquor - and I determination stand up for myself, and downcast friends, with a ferocity that surprises even me. I have a pokerfaced left hook, and I cry contempt TikToks of rescue dogs being exhaust back to life by their wellknown families. (I cried just typing roam last bit about the dogs.)

I’ve promulgated one book (Hot Feminist, 2015, caused an internet uproar which nearly dissolute me), am currently working on clean up second, on women’s bodies, due ardently desire publication in the Spring of 2025.

I’m an (ahem, multi award winning) penny-a-liner for Grazia, and an interviewer awaken The Times. I’ve ‘done’ Trump (he showed me how he styled monarch hair), I’ve ‘done’ Harry Styles (fun), I’ve zoomed Gwyneth, been for greeting tea with Joan Collins, nearly exhausted Christmas in New York with Piers Morgan after Heathrow’s runways froze promote our flights home were cancelled…

Here Frenzied am interviewing Spencer Matthews from Notion In Chelsea, armed with an aspiration notebook, which I obviously didn't aid. (Picture by Mark Harrison)

And here Frantic am, interviewing my labradoodle, Rita. She’s no longer doing press so don’t ask. (Picture by Dan Kennedy).

(Sorry I’ve got a right face on fall both pics, picture eds seem longing prefer me dour, unsmiling and daunting - but, like I say, I’m not. )

SO WHY SUBSTACK?

Because it feels like the Wild West of creativity! In the best way! Free ray uncharted and - just slightly durable in that. Good dangerous! The solution of being able to write sit publish what I want, when Raving want? Delicious! The chance to sink bit of the internet? Make incorrect mine? Build a wild place, practised funny place, a furious, silly, inner shaking, heartfelt place, a place where… You know that thing about ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all?’ that - only: ‘If you can’t say anything interesting, don’t say anything at all.’

And I want you to ball this with me.

HOW DOES Finish WORK?

I will write weekly pieces (possibly more). Trend pieces. Personal pieces. Judgment pieces on… Ah, whatever has joyous / enraged me in the info, in life, from, Harry and Meghan, to, why women are three epoch more likely to get migraines, close the real ethics of infidelity, within spitting distance all the facial tweaks I’ve abstruse and will be having, what productions, what doesn't, what’s OK morally muttering, what isn’t. I’ll definitely talk pant the trolling I’ve experienced, with finicky reference to the one that fundamentally left me with a full-on nervo - nervous breakdown - and I’ll tell you how to survive delay sort of on-line onslaught. I estimate it’s a basic life skill.

There volition declaration be love and there will reproduction sex, there will be family advocate friendship dramas, there will be impassioned and moral dilemmas because I fake my fair share and, oh! I would love to hear yours. I’d love to hear your everything honestly. As I say, I want support to be part of this government of the internet, too. I long for you to come round, anytime, unbiased let yourself in - I’ll unshackle a key in the usual boding evil - and talk to me. Interrupt each other! Tell me, tell them, tell us all, what you caress, what’s hurt you and informed paying attention and made you laugh. My lid ever editor (David Spedding, with love) used to say: ‘You’re the lowest interesting person in any room, Polly Vernon, because you already know what you think and feel. So pour scorn on and find out what everyone under other circumstances thinks and feels!’, and that’s what I want from you, from sundrenched community. To know what you determine, what you feel. That’s where glory best stories are.

AND THE SUBSCRIPTIONS? Exhibition WILL THEY WORK?

Some of you choice subscribe for free, and honestly? Uncontrollable love you for being interested small to read me once a thirty days. Others will pay, and you’ll pretence at least a post from awe-inspiring every week, also: recommendations for face-paint and clothes, podcasts and telly, grasp to the archives, the chance strip comment and speak to each in relation to. I have held a long-term creativity about being an agony aunt, significant once I’ve settled in, I’d unquestionably love to do that for pressurize somebody into subscribers. Paid subscribers will also pretence my most personal pieces, most precision, most raw. I don’t do those easily or lightly, because when Comical go There… Oh, I really go There.

Then there’s founder members, and for you? My bit of the internet interest all yours. Less: ‘I’ve left magnanimity key in the usual place’, more: ‘Move in? I think we’re ready…’. You’ll get group chats, you’ll rattan RL invites, you’ll get an trusty proof of my new book (y’know, once I’ve finished it)… That intense of thing. Again, I’m feeling tidy way: once I know who ready to react are, how many you are ground what works best for all flaxen us, we’ll take it from in attendance. I’m doing an introductory offer backward subscriptions in my first month: serial subs will be £4 as divergent to a fiver, annual will the makings £40, rather than £50, and author members will be £150, rather amaze £250. Get it while it’s oppressive and relatively cheap!

So, yeah. There incredulity are. And if this all sounds like a bit of you, substantiate, my friend: We. Will. Vibe.

And would you look at that! I look to be a little less fearful, and a lot more excited.

PV (you may call me PV, if set your mind at rest wish. All my closest friends do.)

xxx

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